It is natural for parents to want to protect their children, keep them from harm. But in
Are you accidentally robbing your child’s chances for success?
doing so are we depriving them of essential skills they will need as adults?
Consider this…in life you must face adversity. There are confrontations, negotiations, people who would attempt to deceive or defraud you and those who would physically harm you. If you have been sheltered as a child and adolescent, you will be unable to recognize and effectively deal with these inevitable situations. So I suggest to you, as parents, don’t insulate your child from these learning experiences. Instead, stand beside them and offer support and guidance where appropriate, but let them figure out how to deal with challenges. You will be guiding them toward success instead of cheating them out of valuable life lessons.
There is a common saying, albeit an older and somewhat dated saying, “Don’t judge me.” I speak with many people who claim to be non-judgmental…but why? Making assessments, assigning risk and making decisions based on that judgement is essential to survival. But more importantly, we must make those same assessments of ourselves or we will not effectively direct our personal growth.
I actually WANT to be judged. I welcome feedback even if it is contrary to my outlook…often especially if it disagrees with my views! This is how we learn (unless we already know everything and therefore are not open to learning).
By the same token, I make decisions daily based on calculations tempered by my observations of the world around me. This include things like which route to take when traveling, who to trust with my children or my bank accounts, whether the guy walking toward me on the sidewalk looks like a threat, etc. All of these things are important and all are necessary to my well being.
But there are more personal assessments that we make in life. Do you know someone who has a lot of friends? There are people who call everyone they meet a friend and then there are those who realize that true friendship is earned over time. In order to determine who is worthy of that exclusive title we must make judgments of the person’s character and use that information to determine if they are worth investing the time it takes to maintain a close relationship. If so, the rewards are immeasurable. If not, the risk is greater than the potential.
So the next time someone says that they don’t judge people, ask them why they don’t. Teach your children to be discriminating and to know the difference between an acquaintance and a true friend. And by all means, be your own worst critic! It is your best tool to enhance your station in life.
For one to be free they must be independent. This means being responsible for ones own well-being. Freedom is the ability to make your own choices, but also includes owning the results. Many people have an lopsided concept of freedom and want to be able to do whatever they desire without consequences. This is not reality, but is a popular attitude in today’s society.
Freedom involves thinking independently. This means taking all the available data and using it to form opinions. If you exclude facts that don’t necessarily agree with your preconceived notions then you are cheating yourself and increasing the risk that you will make good decisions. For instance, if you choose to ride a motorcycle without wearing a helmet, you know you are taking a greater risk of head injury or death in the event of an accident. The choice is yours. The expense of medical care should be yours as well if you get hurt. Continue reading
Some say that gambling is the devil’s work, others say that it is acceptable entertainment. The truth is, it is a day to day occurrence. Every decision you make is a gamble, as the outcome is calculated based on probability of various results. This is the nature of insurance…the insured gambles that their expenses will be higher than their premiums and the insurer gambles that they won’t. But this post is more concerned with “legal” verses “illegal” gambling for fun…and what the difference is. Continue reading
I have seen several instances lately where Congress has called for a full investigation of accusations of governmental misconduct. There has been Fast and Furious, the IRS targeting groups that are speaking out against government waste and abuse including Lois Lerner’s missing emails, Benghazi, abuses by Wall Street banks and the list goes on.
The question I have is what ever happens? In some cases a few people lost their jobs, but usually not the people who really masterminded the scheme. Often the people involved were just quietly moved to other positions. In other instances the press (or is it the public?) just lost interest and the subject faded into political oblivion.
Is this what our nation deserves? Should we not demand real answers and that those responsible for abusing their positions be held accountable? Would this happen in private industry? What do YOU think should happen?
The concept of freedom is something that many people believe in. Most consider themselves to enjoy a certain level of liberty, yet these same people, myself included, often voluntarily give up their rights for various reason. We, as a society, have grown complacent. We want to live a life of leisure and have forgotten that it is labor, and the fruits of our efforts, that give us satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment. It is also the price of freedom that we must be responsible for our own well-being. Sometimes we are coerced into forfeiting our liberties in exchange for the promise of security. Continue reading
There was yet another incident in a school where a child was ridiculed and humiliated by the administration for something that should have been totally harmless. This child brought a cherished souvenir from the 9/11 ceremony to school. It was an empty shell casing that had been handed out by veterans. Not a bullet, not a weapon, not dangerous to anyone. Yet the school threatened this 7-year old with 10 days of suspension and ended up giving him a “lighter punishment” of sitting by himself for silent lunches and missing recess for two days. You can read the details here.
But the damage is deeper than that. This child may very well have scars for the rest of his life. He may never trust adults or may lose faith in his values and beliefs because the very people he trusted to guide him betrayed his confidence and made him feel like a criminal when he broke no laws and harbored no ill intent.
If this were an isolated incident there would be no cause for concern. Unfortunately it is not. Children are suspended for having a cough drop, eating a toaster pastry into a shape that someone thinks resembles a banned object or just for pointing a finger at someone else (it could be loaded, you know)!
This politically correct society has lost sight of reason. When will people snap out of this haze and start actually thinking about what they are doing and what message they are sending to the students? When will the parents of these persecuted kids stop allowing the school systems to victimize their children? Enough is enough!